DVs Prose: Life

At Chief Lanre Onake’s Château* 
 *With 200 acres of formal gardens and Zuma Rock as its backdrop, his residence was too large to be called a mansion; rumour has it that the Starrod Hotel Group has made numerous offers to acquire the ‘Château’ as it is the perfect site for one of their luxury relaxation and wellness resorts. 

Chief Lanre Onake, Mr Mofe Adele, Mr Akin Fagun and Mr Tunji George all unwind and banter while sipping Champagne. The big 4 as people call them are arguably the most influential people in the whole country. They have fingers in every economic pie. They can either be a blessing or a curse as they can create the financial breakthrough that you have been praying for or ruin you in a minute if you cross their path. 

Governor Akin Fagun is the Governor of Ondo State. He has been in politics for the past 12 year, he had been a Senator, Minister of Aviation and now he was Governor. He still has plans of running for President one day. He believes he will make the perfect President and will be the one to someday end Nigeria’s adversities; he believes he is Nigeria’s hope. Mr Mofe Adele is a business tycoon; the richest man in West Africa. He is well versed in any kind of business, name it and he is the king of it. The term jack of all trades master of none does not apply to him in anyway. Mr Tunde George is the master of Telecoms; he owns the biggest telecommunications company in Africa and is a boss in his own right. Chief Onake is the owner of Actury Bank and Luxury Star Hotel. So, they are into everything – politics, telecoms, trade, baking, agriculture and together they make a very strong, an unstoppable force. They are the kind of people that stay friends because it is more beneficial for them to be friends than enemies and together they have formed some sort of ‘Old Boys Association’.                                                                  

Akin Fagun doesn’t do mistresses as he says “Having a wife is enough stress. Why go and take another woman and give her ‘small wife’ role outside your house? When you don’t want a stroke! Plus I don’t want to hurt my wife but more importantly I fear God oh” 

Akin Fagun!! Our model man!! If only we can all be like you. We will keep aspiring while we enjoy life. 

Tunji George, the one that does not accept that he is no longer a young man, always wanting to know the latest ‘jams’, wanting to be young by all means says with all pride, “I prefer all these young university girls. We have an agreement. I buy their iPads and Peruvian weaves or whatever they put on their heads and they repay the favour. They don’t stress me, I don’t stress them.” You will see Tunji on a Friday night at ‘Liquid’ in the VIP section, sweating and dancing with an agile 19 year old who looks like she can be here all night while he looks like he is struggling for breath. The man does not know he is in his late 50s.

Demola Adele the typical looking ‘big man’, pot-belly, huge, always wearing his agbada with heavy looking pockets filled with bundles of Naira because he believes more in holding cash than using an ATM machine always says “Tunji! Some of these girls are barely 19, some enter university as young as 17. Oyin your daughter is 17 you know? One day, you will be caught with one of Oyin’s friends and would not know. I like to have a mistress I keep in a house, feed, she gives me a child or two, I pay their fees. At least when Mrs. Adele is stressing me I can go and be with my other family. My mistress respects me and we have a mutual agreement but we all know it is only a fool that will leave his wife for his mistress.” 

Lanre Onake, the smallish, gentle looking one who always has the final say, laughs and says, “All these you people are talking about. The Mrs can never hear I have a mistress that I feed and clothe or that I have a girl who thinks she is using me and refers to me as her ‘maga’. Mrs Onake will go and burn down her house. So I can’t be as flamboyant as I will like to be with it.” 

“Forget these women, the crisis in Jos is getting worrying, and its making its way to Abuja; we need to do something about it when we get back from our summer recess. Nigeria is really getting worrying, may God bless our beloved country.  Bad news does not even move us that much any more because it is getting so rampant.” says Mr Mofe Adele. 
Tunji George who has a look of concern on his face as Mofe speaks, looks at his Rolex and realises its past 4pm. 

“Ahh! The Chelsea and Barcelona game has started. Let us put this saddening talk on hold. Barcelona is going to deal with Chelsea. They were just lucky in the first leg. John Terry is going to be frustrated today” 

 “This is going to be one SERIOUS match. Ashley Cole has been impressing me recently but we all know Messi is king, Barcelona will definitely win”, says Mofe Adele already forgetting about the woes of the country. 

“Talking about matches is Aliu Martins still disturbing you? That’s how the man said we should travel to Emirates to watch the Arsenal-Man City match together. That man really wants to belong.” Mofe says with his big belly shaking with fits of laughter. 

Lanre still laughing says, “yes he asked if I want to go as well. He now said “ehn we will use your private plane, ba?” Since the man has started this processing company that is doing well and purchased a few more companies, he has been feeling bold.” 

Mofe continues, “Ahh that one. He has ‘Oju koko ro’. He doesn’t know it’s not about how many companies you acquire but it’s about class, connections and let’s not forget the importance of having a godfather. 
He should stop trying to fit in so bad, he needs to pay his dues; ‘abi’ we all paid our dues.” 

Lanre calls out “Monday!” A dark, tall young looking man with dry ashy legs and hands runs into the room and says, “Yes sir!” ”Go and get us ‘suya’ from the Fulani Bar at Transcorp Hilton Hotel  and peppered snails and smoked turkey from that new place that everyone has been talking about ‘Mama DVees’ near the Hilton”. 

The game ended 2-2. “Wow! What a Game!” Tunji George says. “I wouldn’t have predicted this. Thank God I didn’t bet today because I predicted 2-0 in Barcelona’s favour”. 
They discuss football a bit longer while occasionally talking business…. 

“Oh I even forgot to mention. I’m off to England tomorrow. My daughter is graduating.” says Akin Fagun. 

“Ha my goddaughter! She should move back home so we can make her a director of one of the banks or does she prefer telecomms or Oil & Gas?” Chief Onake says. 

“Yes oh! I’m so proud of her. She is graduating with a first from LSE but you know Tola is ‘Oyinbo’. She doesn’t plan on moving back any time soon. It’s because I sent her there at 13. She is so westernised now. Talking about how she wants to work up the corporate ladder herself in England” says Akin Fagun.

Demola Adele says with a concerned look. “All these young girls that want to be independent, she shouldn’t stress herself when we can all assist but I do admire her determination.”

Tunji wistfully says “If only Onyi was like that………”


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